Kids

Okay … most people that read this on the regular basis probably know me and already know that I have exactly zero children (unless you count my 2 dogs, Kodo and Pepper). As such this is what one would call a ‘my view as an outsider looking in’ ramble. My observations both from public observation of other parents and their children and through talks with people that I know that have children of their own.

Yeah … it isn’t exactly political, or reactionary, or maybe not even relevant in the world at large, but it’s what’s on the plate for today … it’s better than cold leftovers after all.

This ramble was brought about through a combination of things … the time of year (who doesn’t think of kids around Christmas), a good article that my wife linked to me a week or so ago about kids in public places/stores, and talking to a co-worker about his two kids at home.

Since there’s a plethora of things in the article I’ll start with that and just try to weave other things into the ramble as I go along while still keeping it coherent. The article ran on MSNBC Dec 6th and was titled “Behave or else! Unruly kids in public stir debate” It was, as the title says, the issue of children misbehaving in public places … primarily restaurants, café’s and coffee shops, but it applies equally well across the board.

It starts by talking about the controversy surrounding a sign placed on the door to a café in Chicago which read “Children of all ages have to behave and use their indoor voices.”

Personally I don’t see anything ‘controversial’ about that statement. He isn’t ‘banning’ children from the café as some of the upset people in the community say … he is simply stating that he requires that they behave. And in my opinion I believe that children should behave in public … period … and their parents should enforce that … too few seem to these days (which would be what prompted the posting of the sign in the first place).

One mother says, however, that “…there are certain moments that all kids and parents have — and sometimes your kid is going to lose it in a public place.”

But the problem here is that she’s missing the point. Everyone understands that ‘stuff’ happens … that isn’t the problem … the problem isn’t that your kid ‘looses’ it in a public place … its how you HANDLE the situation when they do. Yes, there are going to be times when a child, even the best behaved child in the world, is going to act up in a public situation (unless of course you never take them into a public situation until they’re like 16 or so) and people (even us non parents) understand it … the problem is when the parents of the child in question either don’t try to remedy the situation, or worse aren’t around (or are just too oblivious) to even realize that there IS a situation.

As the owner of the café in question says “It’s not about the kids, it’s about the parents who are with them. Are they supervising and guiding them? I’m just asking that they are considerate to people around them.”

Whoa … now THERE’s a controversial opinion. He wants people to be considerate to others! I mean the nerve! Doesn’t he know that these people are taking their kids out to public places to let them run wild while they have other matters to attend to? Doesn’t it take a village to raise a child?

No.

Certainly it helps … but it’s not a requirement … especially when the other people in the village didn’t sign up for child rearing duty.

But that’s one of the main problems today … people want the kids (or think they do) … but they don’t want to raise them … they ship them off to government schools to be raised and given an education (well, given what passes for an education in a government school). I’m tempted here to turn this into a rant about some of the wonderful stories of American Government School System and its glorious failings, but I’m going to refrain from that mess until I have some more recent news articles (or updates on older ones).

Then again … I’m of the opinion that sending any child to the government to be educated is a horribly BAD idea … but that is, in part, because I am largely distrustful of government in general and also in part due to the astounding failure of the government to handle most things that it tries to handle. (Both of these reasons are also why I shudder at the thought of governmental health care.)

Back to the question of children in public … I look back at my parents and how things were when I grew up. I know that my parents never allowed me to misbehave in public the way that I see many parents letting their children behave … I was taken from the store/restaurant/theater and out into the parking lot at the least … I may also have received a sharp smack on my backside to go with it. And you know what I learned pretty quick … that acting up in public was a BAD idea.

Of course, I was raised in a different time … a time when parents COULD discipline their children … these days if you look at your child cross-eyed then social services will be knocking on your door within 24 hours. You can’t discipline children … OMG that might lead to them having something akin to moral foundation or something … can’t let that happen. Worse even … they might, *gasp*, feel bad about something, that’s not good for kids to feel bad about anything … and if they DO feel bad about something, well there’s probably a prescription for that.

You know … my parents spanked me … not every day … and looking back, probably not even every time I deserved it … but certainly when they felt it was warranted for a punishment. And you know what? I haven’t turned into a mass murdering psychopath or an anti-social hermit … I wasn’t scared for life. What I did learn was discipline … and that breaking the rules had a price … and that the only one responsible for my actions was me.

There are family restaurants, and there are ‘non family’ restaurants … there are places to take you kids where you can let them ‘be kids’ and there are places where you take them that they need to learn to behave and be respectful of others … that’s part of growing up … and teaching them the difference is part of being a parent. Knowing the difference is part of being a considerate adult.