“Things aren’t the same anymore”

Okay … today’s observation got started as the result of a series of calls to the Neal Boortz show (http://boortz.com/) while I was driving in to the office. The content of the calls is of little importance really, but a brief run down was that a father of a boy in 6th grade in a local government school was calling in for Neal’s advice about how he should go about handling a situation in the school of bullies on the basketball team (of which his son was a player) that had shoved his son’s head in a toilet.

Neal’s advice was simple … tell the son to suck it up and keep playing and that the next time the boys do it … grab something heavy and clobber one of the bullies. He also said that the father should maybe have a quiet word with the team coach to make sure he keeps a better eye on things so that it doesn’t become something worse than a ‘swirly’.

Several callers, however, disagreed with this line of advice. Primarily using the argument that the world has changed and “things aren’t the same anymore.”

And they are right … things are not the same. Kids with weapons in schools are more prevalent than the have been in the past. In general things are more violent and the violence is more wide spread than it was in the past. This is true in government and private schools … while gangs are nothing new – particularly in the cities – their presence is more wide spread than it has been in the past and the mind set and culture of many young people is considerably different than it used to be. (Particularly in Hip Hop and Rap dominated areas)

However, ultimately I have to stand by Neal’s advice. It is true that ‘things aren’t the same anymore’ … but it’s also true that some things never change.

One of those things that never change … is that the son NEEDS to learn to stand up for himself. Because in the real world … when he’s out of High School … there isn’t going to be anyone else that will do it. Fighting isn’t always the best answer … but there are times when it’s the ONLY answer. If he doesn’t learn to stand up for himself now … he may as well tattoo “Welcome” on his chest and lay down on the floor.

If dad goes in there and raises hell over this, things will NOT get better for his son … bullies will see that they got to him and he will become a regular target. That’s NEVER going to change … bullies will ALWAYS go after the weak. In MOST cases the one that stands up to them will be passed over … bullies aren’t looking for a fight … they are looking for a victim.

In fact I would argue that BECAUSE ‘things aren’t the same’ the lesson of standing up for yourself is even MORE important today. We don’t live in a ‘kinder, gentler world’ we live in a world where the strong prey upon the weak, where crazy people will strap bombs to themselves or fly planes into buildings. We live in a world where the only person that can protect you IS you.

And, yes, standing up for yourself can get you hurt or killed in some situations, but rolling over and being a victim will only encourage it to happen again and again.

That’s a lesson that repeats in many aspects of life … and in many world issues as well.